heartfeltemotions

Original poems from my heart to yours. All rights reserved

Good-Bye Dad July 16, 2013

Filed under: writings — jadabroussard55 @ 5:00 pm
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Last night I lost my father and even now saying those words makes me cringe because he was never my father.  He took part in giving me life and that was it, but when I got the call my heart broke.  For a while I was angry at myself for even caring, but that was wrong of me.  He was the one person in the world I always wished I would have known.  I used to pray that he would reach out to me someday but now he’s gone and that will never happen.  The little girl inside of me that always dreamed of her father is crying her poor little eyes out and the adult me is numb.  I don’t feel like I have a right to grieve for a man I did not know but I am.  I have these conflicting emotions running through me and I am at a loss.  So dad if your listening…I always loved you even when I hated you.  I wish that we could have known each other and I wish that you could have met my children.  I hope you have found peace.  Good-bye.

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24 Responses to “Good-Bye Dad”

  1. johncoyote Says:

    I’m sorry for your loss. Even a distance parent is a part of us. I became friends with my father at the end of his life. He had a hard life. Wars screw him up. I learn to be a good parent because of my father. We can learn from positive and the negative. I learn with old age. No easy life for anyone.

  2. yeoldefoole Says:

    This is very hard, and I’m sorry. I wish I had words to offer to ease the pain, but there aren’t any. Thank God you can still feel after all his years of neglect. One thing to remember is that he most likely was consumed with his own issues, and what was incredibly painful for you likely wasn’t inflicted intentionally. My prayers are probably not worth a lot, but I’ll offer them for you anyway.

  3. nuttyblurt Says:

    Deepest condolences to you.. Sorry that you didn’t get to know your father like you wanted to. I hope you find peace some how even though he is gone now. May his soul rest in peace, and you have the ability to find some closure in due course. Wishing you the best.

  4. luggagelady Says:

    YOU have every right to grieve, and my heart is with you… May the family you have built and the strength I read in your words continue to lift you up and shroud you in the love you so deserve! xo

  5. Okay, you have now experienced more than the death of your father; you’ve experienced the death of the dream of having a father someday too. I’m very sorry for the way this cuts across the universe of your soul. All I can say is that your pain is not without fellow-sufferers who share similar stories and experiences. We just don’t have any words for what this is like, do we????

    • I think losing the hope is what’s really painful. I thought I had let all that go but obviously I was wrong. It’s really strange for me and I am sure there are so many other people who completely understand what I am feeling.

      • you are walking down paths that require much strength and the ability to be weak too. And, courageous and kind toward yourself. Be slow, feel the undertow of your thoughts and emotions. Be kind and live in the wisdom of accepting whatever is in you…with tenderness. Peace to you!!!!

      • Thank you so much for that. It is not the first time in my life that I have learn to endure. It is also not the first time in my life that I have realized something after it was too late. When the anger subsides you begin to see clearly for the first time.

  6. Valarie Says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that God will bring healing to your heart, and that He will comfort you today. God bless you

  7. Apurva Says:

    So sorry to hear of your loss….though I don’t know you personally but having followed your poetry, I have started to admire the way you go about your life. I just wish you all the strength in the world to cope in this trying time.

  8. words4jp Says:

    I am so sorry. xx

  9. G'sSWEETDEE Says:

    Sorry for YOUR loss. YOUR story really hit home, I also lost MY father when I was 16 before ever getting the privilege of meeting HIM. I know without a doubt HE’S watching over ME as is YOUR FATHER. YOUR words were as if YOU were reading MY story, Thank YOU! FATHER is with YOU. GBU!

  10. Beautiful, thank you for putting into words how you feel. He loved you!


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