Last night I lost my father and even now saying those words makes me cringe because he was never my father. He took part in giving me life and that was it, but when I got the call my heart broke. For a while I was angry at myself for even caring, but that was wrong of me. He was the one person in the world I always wished I would have known. I used to pray that he would reach out to me someday but now he’s gone and that will never happen. The little girl inside of me that always dreamed of her father is crying her poor little eyes out and the adult me is numb. I don’t feel like I have a right to grieve for a man I did not know but I am. I have these conflicting emotions running through me and I am at a loss. So dad if your listening…I always loved you even when I hated you. I wish that we could have known each other and I wish that you could have met my children. I hope you have found peace. Good-bye.