Reflect

I spend a lot of time searching through my past

Allowing myself to be tortured and harassed

I make myself look at the chaos all around

I scrutinize the mistakes that are littered on the ground

I make myself relive each and every regret

I do this to myself so I won’t forget

I can’t pretend that I never caused pain

Some of the choices I’ve made are hard to explain

I am aware of the bad inside of me

I keep it contained because that is not who I want to be

I can’t pretend that the past is not there

I have to accept that somethings are beyond repair

I will continue to strive to be a better me

Maybe by accepting this truth I will finally be free

Always You

Things look so different

As I look at the life I’ve led

Finally knowing the truth

Pushes the demons from my head

I’ve made all these mistakes

Each one fueled by pain

So much self-loathing

I almost went insane

I never thought I was enough

That I was missing something somehow

That had to be the reason

Why your love was not allowed

I spent years beating myself up

Blaming myself for not being enough

Struggling to find my place

In this world that’s so tough

I was just a little girl

Scared all the time

Living in fear

So afraid to climb

But now I see what’s real

I know what is true

It wasn’t me at all

It was always you

 

Inside

I haven’t always taken the right road

There were times when I couldn’t carry my own load

I have made my fair share of mistakes

But the things I’ve done right out ranks

No one is perfect that is for sure

We all struggle and become unsure

It’s all a part of lessons learned

It should not be anyone’s concern

You shouldn’t care what other’s think

Life could be over in just a blink

Do what makes your ownself happy

Live the life that you can carry

Don’t judge yourself by other’s

They have not read all the chapters

They only know what they see

Not what’s inside of you and me

Dues

We all make mistakes along this journey

It’s not just you nor just me

Everyone will have miss step here and there

So never allow anyone to treat you unfair

Each mistake we make is a lesson learned

Each scar we carry has been well earned

It’s all part of the dues we pay

To live life our own way

Don’t be ashamed of the mistakes you’ve made

They are only dues that must be paid

 

Rise Up

 

We all struggle in life and fall

We have all been backed up to the wall

Everyone makes mistakes

Everyone has had heartbreaks

It’s not how many times you fall

Or the times you had to crawl

That is not what defines you

It’s the way you always continue

The way you pick yourself up off the ground

It’s the way you fight so hard to be found

The way you rise up from the tragedy

The way you keep going no matter how hard it may be

Mistakes

 

I know I’ve made mistakes

All people do

But the way you punish me

Is not about me but you

You say I’m a disappointment

And that I have let you down

That I have hurt you feelings

And have caused you to frown

Well maybe that’s true

But that was a long time ago

You can’t keep holding it against me

Sometimes you just have to let go

I have begged you for forgiveness

To which you don’t seem to care

I guess I am the fool now

I am finally fully aware

You act like you’re so perfect

Living in your glass house

Well I know the truth

You’re no more perfect than a louse

I don’t really understand

Why you continue to judge me

When your own life is out of control

Even though it’s something you don’t see

I tried to change the outcome

But you seem stuck in the past

So I have chosen to move on

This is the last

I wish things were different

And we could just move on

But you like the misery

So now I am gone

 

Denial

How will you ever learn

If you deny the mistakes you’ve made

How will you move forward

If you’re so busy trying to evade

Everyone makes mistakes

It is just a part of life

But when you choose to deny them

All you’re doing is causing yourself strife

Accept the things you’ve done

They are all part of the past

They are not who you are

So let go of them at last

Emptiness

Emptiness fills my soul

Pain so immense it consumes me whole

Hopelessness and despair fill my heart

Sadness that rips through me and tears me apart

To look back and see all the pain I’ve caused

Is the reason I choose to take a pause

Shame fills my body to it’s core

Regret is all I know anymore

Mistakes I’ve made litter my mind

Bad decisions of every shape and kind

The path I’ve taken has led me here

And now my life is filled with fear

Love In It’s Place

The life we lead, the games we play

The love we’ve had but thrown away

Mistakes we’ve made litter the road

Relationships we’ve made begin to erode

Nothing ever stays the same

But that doesn’t mean you are to blame

Life moves on at all cost

There’s nothing you can do about the time lost

It’s time we learn from our mistakes

And choose to love in it’s place